I dedicate this blog to all the things I never dared say aloud. To the thoughts in my head that have plagued me. For days. For years. For seconds.
-To the the waitress who stole my $100 bill and I politely asked for it back: I wish I had pulled your beating heart out of your chest, while I pick-pocketed my OWN $100 bucks.
-To the stranger on the subway who, oh, so long ago, took advantage of the "bump" on the track to push his sweaty body up against mine: I wish I had pierced your feet with my stilettos, than turned around with a sweet smile and said "Excuse Me, did I step on you?".
-To the relatives who made me feel like a five year old: I can talk to you like an adult, because, well, I am an adult, even if YOU don't act like one.
-To the bartender who made me that horrid cosmo: Hey, your martini making abilities are already questionable...aka, the question: Which martini is your specialty? I did not challenge your manhood. A simple answer such as "I recommend the Stella Artois" would suffice. Instead, you served me the stickiest, most disgusting, cloudiest, wanna-be Cosmo on this side of the hemisphere. To you: less-than-adequate-chain-restaurant-barkeep, I wish I had returned the aforementioned cosmo, told your manager to demote you and written a a complaint letter to corporate. Only after calling your girlfriend and wishing her "good luck".
With this blog, I take back all those time I "wished" I had said or done something. I will observe the mores and rules that "polite society" tell us we must follow and comment about them.
Sometimes I will be right, most times I will be left. Left behind. Stomping my foot in frustration. Or laughing at someone's incompetence. Or holding my head in my hands, wondering why I didn't stay quiet. Just that once.
No longer will I will 'wish' I said, or did something about it. From now on, I will use my slinky-like stealth to quickly disarm each and everyone of you.
It's ON.
Like DONKEY KONG!!!!
Fuck you,
Raquel
-To the the waitress who stole my $100 bill and I politely asked for it back: I wish I had pulled your beating heart out of your chest, while I pick-pocketed my OWN $100 bucks.
-To the stranger on the subway who, oh, so long ago, took advantage of the "bump" on the track to push his sweaty body up against mine: I wish I had pierced your feet with my stilettos, than turned around with a sweet smile and said "Excuse Me, did I step on you?".
-To the relatives who made me feel like a five year old: I can talk to you like an adult, because, well, I am an adult, even if YOU don't act like one.
-To the bartender who made me that horrid cosmo: Hey, your martini making abilities are already questionable...aka, the question: Which martini is your specialty? I did not challenge your manhood. A simple answer such as "I recommend the Stella Artois" would suffice. Instead, you served me the stickiest, most disgusting, cloudiest, wanna-be Cosmo on this side of the hemisphere. To you: less-than-adequate-chain-restaurant-barkeep, I wish I had returned the aforementioned cosmo, told your manager to demote you and written a a complaint letter to corporate. Only after calling your girlfriend and wishing her "good luck".
With this blog, I take back all those time I "wished" I had said or done something. I will observe the mores and rules that "polite society" tell us we must follow and comment about them.
Sometimes I will be right, most times I will be left. Left behind. Stomping my foot in frustration. Or laughing at someone's incompetence. Or holding my head in my hands, wondering why I didn't stay quiet. Just that once.
No longer will I will 'wish' I said, or did something about it. From now on, I will use my slinky-like stealth to quickly disarm each and everyone of you.
It's ON.
Like DONKEY KONG!!!!
Fuck you,
Raquel
