Everybody knows driving in L.A. Sucks Balls. Big, hairy, sweaty, sticky, stinky balls. There is traffic. Endless. Rows. Of. Traffic.
Angeleno's unite with a common complaint "THE 405" A freeway sooo familiar to us, that we talk about it with an intimacy and disgust similar to when referring to the 'uncle who drinks too much'.
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THE 405 FREEWAY |
Gas in L.A. is so expensive that it is actually cheaper to spend an afternoon at a Strip Club 'makin' in rain', rather filling our gas tanks.
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Make it rain or drive in the rain? |
And of course, we all know that NO ONE in L.A. can drive in the rain. It is a very well-known fact that our curse for living in Sunny Los Angeles, is that the 3 days a year that it rains, every idiot commuter out there freaks-out and smashes into every third car.
Therefore, when I pumped my car full of gas this morning, I almost blew a gasket (again) when I realized that the gas pump was missing the auto-pump nozzle. You know, the 'thingie" attached to the nozzle that allows you to walk away from the pump as your hard earned pennies get sucked into your gas tank.
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Makes you wanna 420 it up when pumpin gas. Oh wait! we can't do that either! |
The nozzle that allows you to continue to pump your gas as you go into your car to listen to the end of the news report. Or the nozzle that allows you to hide in your car as your lock the door from the smelly, homeless person whose pupils are so dilated they are virtually non-exsistant.
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I bet the boogie man ate your PUPILS too, huh? |
The same nozzle, that allows you to HIDE SAFELY in your locked car from the 4 douchebags hitting on you at 2 o'clock in the morning. Thanks to you, L.A. County Fire Marshall, all gas pump nozzles have been recalled in order to avoid yet another brush fire. Thank you for thinking of saving us from fires. But have you given some thought to my mental sanity? Have you thought, per chance, of keeping me safe from the would-be rapist? Thanks to you, L.A. County Fire Marshal, My Drive in L.A. Suck EVEN More!!!!
-Raquel
As featured in Project Peeve
