Sunday, September 19, 2010
Bill TELLS IT LIKE IT IS!!!!
AN INTRODUCTION
This is an example of why I love Bill. Bill tells it like it is. Slinky-like Stealth dedicates this post to those days in which were wronged and were silenced. For everytime we "WISH" we could have "SAID" something, but rather did 'the right thing'. For those days, Bill has provided us the perfect script to fight back. Thank you, Bill. You are the BEST-Raquel
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Fucking motherfuck son-of-bitch asshole dick shitting infected puss-filled blood-blister on my ass with a crusty condom in my cheeseburger holding a severed finger to a pile of vomit and bile. Slimy ass-kissing skeezy hump-backed grandma raping bullshit machine.
I don't like you.
That is all.
-Bill
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Bill. I admit it, I am secretly in love with you.
ReplyDeleteCan I please borrow this??? I have an ex-boyfriend who really needs to read this!!! hahahha
ReplyDeleteMargot, it wouldn't be the first break up letter I have written for someone else. How about something like:
ReplyDeleteMy dearest shithead,
I look back on all the wonderful times we had and I can't help but see them rolling by in my head. But that five minutes ended months before we did. Now, when I wake up in the middle of the night it's with thoughts of you, and I can't help but want to punch a baby in the face. It's not that I hate babies, but your similarities are remarkable and un-shakeable. You both are immature, you both are merely children, and you both shit all over everything. I want to be fair and honest with you, even though you rarely were with me. For the next six months I am going to fuck every drummer, athlete, doctor and relative of yours I can. Your closest friends will be welcome to several blowjobs each. I will, no doubt, enjoy it more than I ever did with you. Your constant lack of sexual performance and your tiny penis never really satisfied me, yet I tried to make you feel good about it for our relationship. In order to help with your future exploits I offer the following: It doesn't happen to every guy, it's not that common, and it is a big deal. Fix it. Also, the clitoris is not a made up word, and it takes longer than 3 minutes to be called 'good sex'. Please understand that this anger towards you is not because I am 'on the rag', but rather because you decided to be an unrelenting childish douchebag. I am sending this to all of your friends as well, so they can share in your pain. Hopefully they wont share in the crabs I got from you and had to scrub out with that special shampoo.
Forever,
unsatisfied by you.
I would make a really BAD girl.
ReplyDeleteUsually for a guy to get some anonymous love, he has to be gay.
ReplyDeleteSo, thanks. You guys rock.