Dear Music Snobs,

I like music you might call "bad". I like "good" music too, but there are plenty of songs that are embarrassing to admit how much I like.

I still know all the words to "Baby Got Back"

I still wish I could dance like Vanilla Ice in "Ice Ice Baby". (The only reason I don't know ALL of the words to this song is that it gets complicated in the middle.)

Bell Biv Devoe's "Poison" still makes me dance around.

Anything by the band "Poison".

"Cum on Feel the Noize" makes me scream very loudly.

I have Pat Benatar and the Footloose soundtrack....on vinyl.

I have yelled at people that said they didn't like GNR.

Gun's and Roses is Slash and Axel.

I used to drive my office partner insane by listening to drunken pirate music all day.

Stephen Lynch can say pretty much anything he wants into a recording, and I will listen to it.

I not only like this for the bikini clad girls, but also the song.


Bonnie Tyler should be made head of American Music Culture.

I hate the Beatles. I think they are officially the most over-rated band in history. They are a pop, boy band. If I became a millionaire for getting my hair cut and having girls yell at me, I'd be as rich as Paul McCartney, before he divorced the one legged chick.

If you don't like my taste in music, then you can bite me. I wish this country had a thunder-dome. I would go in with all the fucking music snobs and rock the white-trash metal while hacking up the snobby assholes that think that they are better than me for listening to some crap and rejecting some other crap.

I hope this makes your head hurt and your balls explode.