3 to 4 minutes

The average song length in the U.S. is somewhere between 3 and 4 minutes long, depending on which Google result you click on. That's not very long. Especially when you consider that the musicians that make the 4 minutes of entertainment get paid millions of dollars for it. 4 minutes of entertainment, millions of dollars.

So answer me this. WHY THE FUCK CAN'T THEY DO A LITTLE FACT CHECKING?

This drives me nuts. Maybe I'm a giant nerd. Maybe it doesn't really matter, but for millions of dollars I would be willing to do a little Googling. 5 minutes worth of research may be a minute longer than the song, but still. It isn't difficult people. Fraking 9 year olds can check facts better than you.

So, to clear it up:

In 1962, there were NO pistols that shot 9 rounds of .44 caliber bullets. Didn't exist. So no, you didn't pull out that shiny .44 and put 9 of your bullets in his chest. You may have put 5 or 6, but not 9.

(Despite the unlimited ammo in movies, still holds 6)

Dragonflies don't fly particularly high and they do not cross the sea. I don't care if your weed soaked brain thinks this is "cool imagery". It's not. It's stupid and you need to be castrated with a rusty spoon. (Although, I like rusty spoons.....never mind, like 2 of you out there will get that reference).

(Okay, maybe this one could cross the sea)

The Pope did not own 51% of G.M. stock. Like ever. I know you were a Beatle, so you can afford to pay someone to find this out for you.

(AAAHHHH EVIL SANTA)

Billy the Kid was not hung. He was shot by Pat Garrett. Everyone knows that. And if you share the same first name as him, you might take an interest. Just saying.

(Even these guys know that)

Dr. Martin Luther King was NOT shot in the early morning. It was in the late afternoon/early evening (around 6pm). But I don't expect Bono to have more than 2 brain-cells to rub together anyway, so I should let this one go. At least he wrote a song about someone NOT himself. Fucking douchebag.

(This is the douchebag, not MLK)

I would expect a former school teacher to know that apples grow on trees. NOT on vines.

(See. Tree.)

It kills me to say it, but there is no trains near Folsom Prison. You visited there. You should know this. But I still love this song.

(You are going to be waiting a long time)



This is to say nothing of the stupid crap that makes it into songs that isn't technically inaccurate, just stupid and pointless.

Exhibit A: Who is this girl, and why do I want to punch her in the face?


Oh, and to all the songwriters out there. NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR POLITICAL VIEWS. Shut the fuck up about it and sing and dance. That's what we pay you for. Dance monkey dance. Sing monkey sing. STOP with all the political crap. You are not intelligent enough to know that those sunglasses make you look retarded, so I don't need to hear what you think about the president.