I Go to Brunch in a Child-Molester Van

Hi,  I am Chester!!!!

Meet Chester.


-He's green.
-He has curtains (and his curtains match the paint if ya KNOW what I mean *wink*.)
-He smells like cat pee.


Chester also has a flat screen TV in the back with super-cool captains chair in horrid, washed-out gray felt.


I tried my damn hardest to lure little children in the back of Chester.

Hey lil child you want some candy?

But, alas, I forgot to bring candy and to pull-over to invite children into Chester.


Thank you Megan's Law for your clear instructions for children:

• Remind children NEVER to hitchhike, approach a car or engage in a conversation with anyone in a car who they do not know or trust, or go anywhere with anyone without getting your permission first.

And that includes CHESTER, the van! 

Children: Never, ever, get into Chester.

Chester, my girlfriend and I went to brunch. We enjoyed a few mimosas and a delicious brunch. 


Chester still smells like cat pee. We might take him clubbing.

Cheers!


*clink* champagne glass

Raquel