#1. PERKY
Joan. I love you. And your big beautiful breasts. Perkiness personified.
You, random customer service person, calling me at 7 am, I HATE you!
Your perkiness would only be allowed if you had breasts like Joan's.
And only if you talked to me at a humane hour and didn't try to sell me something. Or tell me to give you my credit card information.
Your perkiness would only be allowed if you had breasts like Joan's.
And only if you talked to me at a humane hour and didn't try to sell me something. Or tell me to give you my credit card information.
Note to the world: Only boobs are allowed to be that perky!
# 2. OVERLY BENDY
Yes, you, old yogi who dropped acid and put flowers in your hair in the Haight. You. Mr. Overly Bendy Pretzel Person.
Your skin is no longer supple. You did too much acid. And you got pockmarks from not washing your face.
Your skin is no longer supple. You did too much acid. And you got pockmarks from not washing your face.
Your uber-thin, overly tan, creepy, skinny body, although it can Triangle pose better than I ever will, makes you look like a freakish Gumby.
Buy yourself some self respecting "Active Senior" clothing and stop talking about "back in the day".
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| Put some clothes on that shit! |
#3. BIKER TWEAKER DUDE
Yeah you. Your skin is leathery and you are missing teeth.
Maybe you rode across the continent enough to father 8,000 grandchildren. And you lost that tooth in a bar fight in San Antone.
Or you are actually only 35 and you tweaked so hard you look like an old biker dude. Either way, you are disgusting.
I will never be like you,
Raquel
If you are going to be a Christina Hendricks character, I recommend being Saffron/Bridgette/Yolanda from Firefly. She's hot, smart, manipulative, evil, crazy as every girl that has ever liked me, and gets naked in front of and makes-out with Mal Reynolds.
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