I love Pepperidge Farm. There's no disputing that they make the best cookies. The cookies are so magical that the package is just a bag. No bright colors, no clever slogans, no dwarfs or garden gnomes or Bill Cosby or cute kids on the wrapper. All they need is a plain white bag with a 200 year old looking picture on it of what's inside. As a kid my grandpappie always ate their cookies and so did I. He once let me eat a whole bag of them and made me promise not to tell.
Yes friends, it's true. My grandpappie was a pusher.
He got me hooked on the 'product' at a young and impressionable age. With their deliciously crisp, perfectly sweet cookies, sophisticated name and ungreen, grossly wasteful, oversimplified, uber-creative and sophisticated packaging with a 10:1 ratio of paper to cookie how can one resist? Don't worry-I recycle, so it cancels the other out. I eat them because it makes me feel sophisticated to eat an overpriced cookie.
Plus, they taste really good. Eating them always makes me feel better. It makes me look better. It makes me feel smarter. It gives me stronger erections. It even makes me fuck better. The positive results are well worth the irritation of crumbs in the bed.
-MAX-
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| Shhhhh....little boy, I won't tell if you don't tell |
Yes friends, it's true. My grandpappie was a pusher.
He got me hooked on the 'product' at a young and impressionable age. With their deliciously crisp, perfectly sweet cookies, sophisticated name and ungreen, grossly wasteful, oversimplified, uber-creative and sophisticated packaging with a 10:1 ratio of paper to cookie how can one resist? Don't worry-I recycle, so it cancels the other out. I eat them because it makes me feel sophisticated to eat an overpriced cookie.
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| I play cello and eat cookies at the SAME time! |
-MAX-
That's right! The last time I had some Milano's I had a sophisticated erection lasting over 4 hours. But I didn't go to the ER or something lame like that, I just called over more ladies.
ReplyDeleteHey Mr Lonely Checked out your blog Pretty Sweeeet! I am following!
ReplyDeleteHey Dominic My erections get better when I eat my dark chocolate Milano's and I don't leave any crumbs either!
ReplyDeleteRaquel, so if I slip you a tit.....???? Oh wait, I have done that already and it didn't get me anywhere.....
ReplyDeleteJust the tip, Margot, just the tip
ReplyDelete